No doubt you’ve noticed a trend here lately. I know I’ve been blogging about my faith a lot lately. I’m not trying to turn the blog into my e-pulpit, but around the beginning of the year, I ran across Psalm 37:4*–“Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I figured a paradigm shift couldn’t hurt.
Don’t misunderstand–I’ve been active in my church for years. We raised our kids in the faith and have tried to walk the walk in our imperfection. It’s the imperfection that gets me every time. It’s hard to delight in someone you don’t know that well, so I decided it was time to do something about it. Besides, God knows the desires of my heart better than I do. I only know what I think I want, and I haven’t gotten it yet. I don’t know–won’t know until something happens–whether it’s because I’m dreaming too small or dreaming the wrong dream, but when you do what you’ve always done, you get what you’ve always had. I’ve had enough angst and frustration. Hence the paradigm shift and the God posts.
I certainly don’t want to drive people away. I’m just trying to be real. Writing is hard, and it’s solitary. It’s jarring sometimes to shift from real to imaginary and back again, often with no notice. You’re in the zone and the phone rings, or the kids come home from school and they’re starving, or the alarm you set when you put dinner in the oven goes off. I totally understand how so many artists end up on drugs or alcohol. Art wears you down. Who am I kidding? Life wears you down.
Sometimes I feel like the weakest person on earth, like I can’t do anything on my own. Scripture tells me that’s when I’m strong. That’s when God does His best work.
*All of Psalm 34 is worth reading. Very encouraging and practical.