I’m pulling extra shifts at The Day Job this week. Yesterday was not my normal day, but there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary until about fifteen minutes before closing. We were down to two tables–a three top in the front room and a two top in the back. I had most of the dishes done and decided to duck to the back for a potty break. One of the ladies from the two top was missing, apparently in the restroom, which was no big deal since we have two restrooms. The second lady flagged me down, so I diverted.
She must have known I was headed for the restroom, because she opened with, “My friend is in the ladies’ room, and it’s a one-seater, right?”* In five minutes she told me about the charity fundraiser she’s working on and suggested that we could provide cookies so we can “get our name out there,” told me all about the funeral she’d just sung for, detailed her ill-fated career with a company that does home cooking classes, and asked me three times about the Boss’ name, which she got wrong anyway.
Her friend came back and I was able to escape. Undaunted, she latched on to the gal who was working with me. Then she went to the restroom, came out, and said she’d just thought that if we were going to do cookies for her fundraiser, maybe it would be fun to sell little cups of coffee, “like expresso shots!”** for a quarter or fifty cents.
It was fifteen minutes past closing when she finally left. I’m still shaking my head. Hopefully she’ll go down the street for lunch today.
*Apparently it’s all right to stop someone from going to the restroom if it’s a one-seater, because everyone knows that women would never use the men’s room! The truth is, I use the men’s room on a regular basis just to make sure the toilet paper and paper towels are stocked up.
**I know, it’s spelled wrong. That’s how she said it. That’s how half the people in this area say it, which drives me truly crazy. As near as I can figure, the logic is that there must be an unwritten ‘x’ in ‘espresso’ because there is an unwritten ‘t’ in ‘pizza’ and they’re both Italian.