Order for the Border

The governors of New Mexico and Arizona have been getting fired up about stopping illegal immigration. Now the legistlature in California is calling on The Governator to join them and lobby the feds for more help. There is talk from New Mexico about building a wall. They can’t build it on the border proper because it’s federal land, but some of the ranchers on the border have expressed an interest in having it built on their land.

I like this idea. Opponents say that illegals will just go to a different place on the border to cross. I’m sure some will, but do you will think that every Tomas, Ricardo, and Enrico can afford to travel across Mexico to find another place to cross?

The thing I don’t agree with is the ‘lobby the feds’ part. I’m a very self-sufficient person. If something needs to be done, I try to figure out a way to make it happen. If the feds get involved:

1. It will take longer

2. It will cost more

3. The contract will go to the lowest bidder, thus ensuring shoddy workmanship. An enterprising future illegal will be able to dig under the wall with a spoon.

My solution? Since I don’t live there and don’t have influential connections, my ability to do something is limited.

However, just for fun, let’s say I’m indepently wealthy, having published a dozen or two best-selling novels. (Hey, I can dream!)

Providing the seed money would be a tax write-off for me. I’d open a non-profit account and start a Build The Wall fund. I’d let local and state newspapers know first, which would no doubt alert the big newspapers nation-wide. I’d start an ad campaign to let people know where to send donations. However, I would accept no funding from local, state, or federal sources. No grants or no-interest loans. Why? Well, because the state and federal governments are afraid of offending Vicente Fox. I’m not. He can get mad at me.

By this point I’d probably have to hire a couple of body guards and beef up security at home. I’m sure that I’d have angry illegals threatening mean things. Then I’d know it was working!

The contract for the actual building would be awarded not to the lowest bid, but to the most economical bid. Having been with the military my entire adult life, I know the difference between cheap and a deal. The lucky contractor would have to not only guarantee no to go over budget, he’d have to finish on time. There would be a penalty clause stating that work done beyond the contract period is at his (or her) expense. Quality control would be a must, as would maintenance and inspections.

Obviously, living in middle America with a tight budget, I can’t be the one to donate seed money and hire body guards. If God sends me a winning lotto ticket, it’s a different story, but someone told me that God doesn’t like gambling so I don’t see that happening. What I am hoping, though, is that someone with more money than I’ll ever see in a lifetime will see this and say, “Oh, my, what a good idea!”

This is one idea I hope will be stolen. Quickly. We might have to implement it for the northern border, too.


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